I'm Only Human And I'm Doing It

Getting back on track after the cruise was not easy, and I did a pretty lousy job of it last week.  I'm happy to report that even though I didn't really get back on plan, the scale today only showed a 6.6lb gain.  It's not awesome, but it certainly could have been worse!  After my meeting today I went to the grocery store and stocked up.  I've made a plan for the week that includes tracking, staying on-plan, and  getting more activity.  I hope to lose these 6lbs in the next 3 weeks, then keep on working towards my goal.

One thing that keeps me inspired, is hearing the success stories of others.  If so many people can be successful with Weight Watchers, then I know I can do it too.  If you need a little inspiration in your day, be sure to check out the "I'm Only Human And I Did It" project on YouTube.  Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll have my own story on there! :-)

 -11.8 lbs 

(ps. I wear this shirt on Sundays a lot... I just noticed it is in a few of my weekly photos.)

Feeding My Brain

Well, I am home after a WONDERFUL cruise!  I did indulge quite a bit over the week... too many temptations to avoid all together.  I'm not sure of the effect those indulgences will have on the scale... I'm a little scared.  I am happy to report I got a ton of activity over the week on the ship.  I earned 11 points and averaged 94% of my daily goal over the week!  I am back on plan starting tomorrow and hope my next official weigh in next week will show no more than a 5lb gain.  No pic this week since there is no official weigh in for today.  Check back next week to see how I did!

Now... on to feeding my brain...

I love to read. At any given moment I probably have 4 (or more) books loaded on my kindle.  I'm sure I'll read lots of things this year, but I'm going to focus mostly on books about weight loss & health.  If you have any great recommendations, I'd love to hear them!  

As I feed my brain along this journey, I'll try to share a bit of the knowledge I gain with you!

The book currently keeping me inspired (and on track) is Weight Loss Boss by David Kirchhoff. He is the CEO of Weight Watchers and has a wonderful blog called Man Meets Scale.  He writes with just the right amount of science & humor for my tastes.  And even though he is the CEO of Weight Watchers, it is not really a book about the WW program.  It's really just the story of his weight loss journey.  As someone who has gone down this path ahead of me, he's certainly got some great information and inspiration to share!  Here are some little bits of wisdom I've gained from the book so far:

• "I can focus my energy on developing mental muscle power to withstand the temptations of a food-dense environment."
• "there seems to be a link between my optic nerve and some kind of trapdoor into my stomach"
• "So does beer make you fat? In a word, yes (or at least likely). Beer obviously has calories, but it also has the ability to radically lower eating inhibitions while under the influence."
• "I ate without thinking and gained without noticing … if I looked the other way when I walked past the bathroom mirror."
• "I will always have to watch what I eat because I still live in the tempting food environment that got me heavy in the first place. I eventually came to realize that I had to respect that fact by taking steps to alter the way I interacted with my environment."
• "A healthy lifestyle is not a moral straitjacket. Rather, it is a combination of healthy habits you feel good about and can stick to."
• "weight loss is often not a direct journey. It has its twists and turns, ups and downs. There are periods where you are highly focused and times when you wear doughnut glasses."
• "So the government came up with a simple mnemonic: a dinner plate. Fill half with fruits and vegetables, a quarter with whole grains, and a quarter with protein. Dairy is represented by a glass of low-fat milk, next to the plate. It displaces the esoteric food pyramid, which might have been a gift from aliens visiting ancient Egypt."
• "Plus seeing a ton of food is beyond sexy in my simple mind."
• "The only way anybody can lose weight is to make different choices and live in a different way. The sooner that you put your belief and trust in yourself, the sooner you will realize that you manage own destiny."

Kirchhoff, David (2012-05-08). Weight Loss Boss: How to Finally Win at Losing--and Take Charge in an Out-of-Control Food World. Rodale. Kindle Edition. 

Hitting Reset

This week was tough. Between preparing to be gone from work & home for a week, and having a bizarre nerve inflammation, my head was not in the game at the beginning of the week

I've realized over the years that even when I'm doing really great with my weight loss, I let distractions sabotage my progress.  It's like I can only focus and do 2 or 3 things at a time very well, and being on plan is the first thing to go when something else (no matter how minor) moves up in priority.

I'm not proud of how I started my week. It included (among several indiscretions) of all things... a trip to Taco Bell.  I don't really even like Taco Bell.  And I didn't get something "healthy" I got a stupid 7 layer burrito and a mexican pizza.  It wasn't good.  I didn't want it. I would have rather had any number of other things for the same amount of calories.  I decided (unfortunately after eating that meal instead of before) I really needed to hit reset.  I still had 4 days until my cruise, and there was really no reason to waste them!

I'm happy to say that I managed to salvage those 4 days, and turn the potential gain into a small loss!  HUGE VICTORY!!!

I am traveling tomorrow to Florida, then on board a very large boat (I know... it's a ship!) until next Sunday (Feb 17th).  So, this is my post for the week.  My scale did show a small loss this week, but since it is not my "official" WW recorded weight, no picture or total loss listed for this post.

I do plan to indulge a bit on the cruise, but to not overdo it.  I won't have another official weigh in until February 24th. If I were to show a small (below 5 lb) gain on that date, I'd be pretty proud of myself.  I plan to get plenty of activity on the cruise and eat plenty of fruits and vegetables to offset any sweets and drinks I may have.

As soon as I get back home on the 17th I'll be hitting reset all over again.  That's the nice thing about that reset button.. you can hit it ANY TIME!

Inspiration

Hey there!

Thank you!  You may not know it, but you are an inspiration to me.  Really, just because you're reading this, I'm inspired!

I wasn't sure what blogging about this year of losing weight would do for me.  I hoped it would help me feel accountable and stay on track.  It certainly has done that!  I look forward to stepping on that scale on Sundays so I can blog about my progress Sunday night.  Knowing I'm going to have to reflect on my week and share my thoughts here, keeps me thinking about this journey I'm on.  I actually never thought anyone would really read this blog... but, here you are!

Over the past month, several of you have talked to me about this blog.  These aren't direct quotes, but these are some of the things you've been saying to me (at work, on facebook, whenever I see you):

• Your blog really inspired me, I'm back on track with WW too!
• Toni, you're really brave to share what you're doing.
• Keep up the great work, I'm proud of you.
• Awesome!  Keep up the great work!
• Go girl!
• I really needed to hear this.
• I'm in this with you!

I'm overwhelmed by your comments!  Many of these comments have come right when I needed them most (in the middle of a day where I wanted to give up).  They've all come as a complete surprise.  You  are all inspiring me, and I just wanted to say thank you!  I started this to inspire myself and to keep myself on track. Knowing that I have become an inspiration to others is a little overwhelming, but very inspiring too!

Thank you so much for your support! I appreciate your comments, your prayers, and your taking time to read my silly ramblings!  We're in this together, and 2013 is going to be the year we succeed!

 -18.5

A Yoga Story

I love yoga.  I really never thought I'd say that about any exercise, but I really love it! I'm not great at it.  One look at me and you'll see it is not likely I'll do any advanced poses any time soon.  But I love the way yoga makes me feel.  I tend to carry a lot of stress in my neck and shoulders.  After an hour of yoga, that just disappears!  Yoga is challenging, but you get to work at your own pace and make any modifications needed based on your strength and flexibility. 

My first class I spent a lot of time in child's pose while everyone else was moving on.  It seemed strange at first, but with each class I've been able to do more and more.  I'm really proud of the progress I'm making.  Today I did half moon on my right side for the first time!  I still have a long way to go on the left side, but every class I take helps me get there. 

I do not love "hot yoga".  I tried that once, and it is not out of the realm of possibility that I might try it again in the future (with more preparation) , but the experience I had with it was not pleasant at all!  In 2011, I was working out regularly with a personal trainer. He had wanted me to try yoga, but I had refused on several occasions.  One day before a scheduled workout, he sent me a text that our workout would not be at our usual gym, but instead he would meet me at a yoga studio to do hot yoga.  I thought if I would just go I might like it, and if not at least he would get off my back about trying it.  Boy was I unprepared for the experience!  First of all, I was not near hydrated enough.. I had only had my morning coffee and one bottle of water that day.  Secondly, no one gave me any warning about how hot it was going to be, and what I should do in the class.  I really think they should have a "this is my first time at hot yoga" class so it's not so overwhelming!  And to top it all off, the people there were just weird.  They were just very hippy-trippy-granola types (I'm sure they were all very nice.. but it kinda creeped me out).  Now, imagine you're going to this place to meet your trainer, and he shows up late and they won't let him in.  So, there I am sweating my *$$ off, feeling light headed, and finding it hard to breathe (much less move) and there he is in the hallway looking in through a window on the door.  I was so miserable, but I figured I would keep trying, at least for a bit longer.  I think the instructor could sense my panic.  She encouraged me to just lie down on my mat and breathe.  I did that for what seemed like 7 hours, but was really only 7 minutes.  It was about 20 minutes into the hour-long class that I decided to flee.  I quietly got up and tried to gather my things.  The instructor stopped me and said (in a voice that came across as very creepy instead of soothing), "Toni, please don't leave... we love you.  Class, tell Toni we love her and we want her to stay." Then the class chimed in (in an even creepier cult like group voice), "Toni... we love you... please don't leave... we know you can do this."  It was all TOO bizarre, but I felt like I had to stay.  So I rolled my towel back out and just stayed there lying on my towel for the remainder of class.  Once class was over I couldn't get out of there fast enough.  Everyone was congratulating me for staying, and saying how proud they were of me.  Again it was probably very nice, but it came across as SO CREEPY!

I know someone will likely read this and say that not all hot yoga is like that and it really is a great way to do yoga.  To that person, I say "You may be right, but that has not been my experience".  Someday I may try it again.  Until then, I'll stick with sweating my *$$ off at plain old room temperature yoga!

    -17!

Moving More

If you read my post last week, you'll remember I took a week off from scheduling gym time.  It was a really great week of rest! 

I didn't go to the gym at all, but I did try to move a little more each day. 

I'm using Weight Watchers Activelink activity monitor.  It works similarly to a Fitbit (which I also have, but am not currently using).  More than a pedometer, it captures all of your movement throughout the day.  The first week you use it, it takes an assessment of your daily movements.  Once the assessment phase is over, it sets little challenge goals for you to increase your activity. 

I actually did my assessment the last week of Christmas break. I was ill 3 of the days, and did very little moving, so I don't think my assessment was reflective of my "typical" activity.  I could do the assessment again, but instead I'm just going with the challenge it currently has set for me, which is to earn 3 activity points per day by the end of 12 weeks.  I'm still at the earn 1 activity point each day phase of the 12 week plan.  I tend to exceed that goal regularly, but I figure it is better to start small and work to increase my activity bit by bit.

Activelink is a pretty cool little piece of technology and, if you know anything about me, you know I love my technology!  It displays a percentage of your goal reached, and is pretty motivating.  When you reach 100% it flashes all the lights (nothing too exciting, but still an indicator that you are doing well).  The best thing about it, is when I plug it into my computer it automatically adds the data it has collected to my tracker!  That means I don't have to count up my activity points, they just show up in my tracker!  Brilliant!

I really hate to exercise.... that is not an overstatement... I actually HATE IT!  I don't feel good at it, and it makes me hot and sweaty (really sweaty... it's not pretty) and generally uncomfortable.  It's the worst!  But I understand that it is a necessary evil, so I make myself do it.  It's just part of being healthy and I accept that.   There are 2 exercises I actually enjoy (a little).  One is yoga (but not the "hot" kind).  The other is walking outside (weather permitting of course).  I wish I could do one or both of those every day, and that would be enough, but I know I need to challenge/push myself to do more than that at least some of the time.  I don't think I'll ever push myself like Bob & Jillian push those Biggest Loser contestants, that's kind of extreme.  But I make myself run a little and set goals for fitness with my gym buddy.  I think we'll be back to the gym this week.  We usually do 3 days of yoga and 3 days of treadmill.  It's a lot, and I generally hate it when we're going, but I usually feel pretty great afterward. 

Here are the ways I am working to get more activity in my life:

• The Gym - 5-6 days per week, usually 3 Yoga classes & 3 treadmill workouts
• The Parking Lot - I park about as far away as I can from work (and other places I go) just to get a few more steps in my day
• The Stairs - I work at 2 schools that have classrooms upstairs, and even though it is just one flight of stair, I would sometimes take the elevator.  Now, I only take the elevator if I am moving something that I cannot carry up the stairs!
• The Post-lunch Walk - I've started walking around the campus (indoors if the weather is bad) for about 5 minutes after eating my lunch.  
• The Walk-Break - If I have a day where I am sitting at my computer instead of teaching, I take regular walk breaks.  Every 45 minutes I make myself get up and walk around for a few minutes at least.

And one more (this one I'm nerding out about)....Xbox Kinect! I've had my Xbox 360 for over a year, but this weekend I went ahead and bought the Kinect.  It's kinda awesome!  So far I only have one game...  Just Dance Greatest Hits.  It's pretty fun.  Reminds me of when I was a pre-teen and would close my bedroom door, turn up my music and "just dance".  I'm not a great dancer, and rarely dance in public (those of you that have witnessed my "moves" just be quiet.. please).  Even though I don't have the "moves like jagger" (and especially the moves like Adam Levine), dance is a pretty fun way to get moving!  My challenge for the week is to "just dance" one song for every TV show I watch.

  -14.6 (I made it past my 5% goal!)

Hitting Walls

This weekend I hit a wall.  It was the "I am so sick of scheduling my life around working out!" wall.  I want to say this wall did not come from 3 weeks of a new workout plan for the new year.  I think this wall has been growing higher and higher for months.

I have a close friend that I workout with regularly.  We set 2-3 week goals for working out and then do everything we can to meet those goals.  If we succeed, we pick a reward (like buying a new outfit or taking a road trip).  If we fail, we have a punishment (it's called "push-up pyramid"... yes, it is as bad as it sounds).  We've been setting goals and experiencing rewards (and punishments) pretty consistently for the last 4 months.

You'd think with all that activity I would've lost weight, not gained it last year!  I'm just thankful the activity kept me from gaining more.  Now that I have my food intake (I hate using the word "diet") under control, working out should make more of an impact.  But I'm getting a little off topic here... back to THE WALL.

I feel like this wall has been building itself up, week by week, over the last 4 months.  Every time I've had to sacrifice a preferred activity because of going to the gym... two more bricks on the wall.  Every time we have to coordinate our schedules so we can workout together... two more bricks on the wall.  Every time we go to the gym even though there are excuses not to go... two more bricks on the wall.  Every time we pass up happy hour with friends because of a workout... two more bricks on the wall.  Every time we push through a workout that isn't going the way we really want it to... two more bricks on the wall.  That "I am so sick of scheduling my life around working out!" wall has been building and building.

So, Saturday after getting up, and dressed, and driving to the gym... we looked at each other and said "maybe we should take a break".  Maybe 6 workouts a week is wearing us down.  Maybe we should not go to yoga today.  Maybe we should just go to breakfast.  Maybe we should take the week off!  So, instead of walking into the gym and doing yoga, we drove to our favorite breakfast spot and split a delicious breakfast!  We laughed at ourselves all the way there.  It seemed funny that we would get up and drive to the gym, only to leave and go to breakfast instead.  But I really think we needed a break.  In fact, we deserve it!

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/rest

So, Maya Angleou says we all deserve a day... I'm taking a week.  It's not to say that I won't workout this week.  I very likely will workout some this week.  I'm taking this week off of managing schedules and saying no to fun activities. I just need the break.  And I deserve it!  No rushing from work to the gym.  No going and fighting the gym crowd in the evening.  No syncronizing schedules. No fear of punishment. This is a week of rest from all those cares.  Each day that wall will get a little smaller, and then I will have the energy to tackle it again.

Here are some walls I seem to encounter regularly:

• The "I just want to eat food that tastes good" Wall
• The "I'm sick of counting points" Wall
• The Great Wall of "Diets"
• The "Scale doesn't show my progress" Wall
• The "I'd rather be napping" Wall

How do we go about avoiding these walls?  Or at least dealing with them when they appear?  I think rest or taking a break can certainly help at times.  I think the important thing is to see the walls for what they are and work to rebuild around them.  If taking a (reasonable) break will help, then do it.  Just don't give up.  Don't stop working toward the goal.  Give yourself a moment (or a week) but make sure you get back to it once the moment is over.

One thing I do to make sure the "I'm sick of counting points" wall doesn't grow too tall to manage is that I give myself one splurge meal each week (usually right after my WW meeting and weighing in).  For that one meal, I allow myself the opportunity to eat anything I want.  I don't count points for that meal.  Instead, in my tracker, I write "splurge" and then count it as all of my remaining daily points.  That really seems to keep me on track for the week.

  -12 lbs!